Thursday, May 10, 2007

Today I hang on by a thread!

It's been a terrible couple of days. It was suppose to be good!

I got my laptop which one would think would be amazing news right.. well initially it was, until we had to figure out the easy to install wireless router, which still isn't working despite all we have done, and left me with out internet for two days...

I have had huge headaches that I cannot seem to shake. It's just awful and I feel like I am gonna barf any minute... I hate that.

I lost my patience with my children today. They have been very whiny and demanding, they have been fighting, disrespectful, just plain ole bad... I had ENOUGH!!! I lost my temper, and just yelled. I feel awful for it but I couldn't take it anymore... I feel like I need to cry!

I feel like I am at odds with so much. John tells me it's the reintegration process ( and after his tour to Bosnia he felt the same way)but every little damn thing seems to make me sensitive and sets me off. I don't feel like myself.... it just sucks..

Sorry for such a crap entry... but hey I guess everyone needs to do this every now and then. I think I need to step back and reevaluate some things in my life... I am not going to make any hasty decisions today... wait it out, go back to work and into a routine... let things just sit.

Hopefully tomorrow is better!


Di Hickman said...

awww sweetie!


and if its any help wireless internet is a double edged sword
Had ours for years, but the routers seem to have a short life (could be overuse *wink*). Ours just stops working every 15-30 mins and has to be rebooted, which kinda sucks. We're getting a new one though, on its way, will let ya know how it works out
here for ya if you wanna chat or just vent!


Kataroo said...

HOw crappy, I am so sorry your having a hard time. Good idea on waiting to make any decisions. You'll make it Rachel, you always do :)

Michelle said...

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so yucky, Rachel. You know I run a home day care, right? You could take a leisurely drive my way, bring the kidlets, sit and have tea, leaf through my magazines, relax and watch the kids play with me and the other kids. A little break.

Stay funny said...

Ahhhhhhhhh Rach all will feel in place soon! It's take usually 1 month (as per doctors tests and university experience...) to change habits or to make a "change" work good. Adaptation is a process and you will see soon all will go well. Hugs

Barb said...

Aw man, that sucks. I've certainly done the yelling and regretting thing... lots of times. And the whole whiny, demanding kid scene... yep. But the rest of it, I don't have any experience with. All I know is that you're a great mom, and I know you'll settle back in soon enough. I see in today's post you say things are better already. I'm glad.

Biggest hugs to you, Rach. Hang in there.