Monday, April 30, 2007

Running around.... feeling very anxious

Okay just had to stop and take a deep breath... I woke this morning in Angelinas bed with her poking me in the face. You see she has been having little "panic attacks" at night. Like she wakes up and realizes I am not around and then starts to cry hard. I guess she is going thru her own adjustments too, and worried that I am going to leave again. It's taking it's toll on me though, the past couple of nights I have spent with her, and while it's okay for now, it's going to get quite exhausting.
So up this morning, coffee made, John at work and I am home alone with the girls. I forgot how overwhelming being a full time mother can be. Now I am not complaining as there is no other job in the world that I would like... but I guess it's just that I have a to do list the length of a football field and with them home with me... nothing can get accomplished.

So after a couple of hours getting some computer stuff done, I start getting the shakes and realize that I need to eat. Fed the kids and forgot about myself this morning. Off I make lunch, manage to get a pan of Rice krispie Squares made, was at the door to receive the 5 boxes I mailed home to myself, my house looks like a bomb went off, I am still in my jammies, and my kids are fighting... a little unlike my time in ALert me thinks...lol

I think today I just need to take a deep breath, make peace that I will not get much accomplished, play with the kids and eat some Rice Krispies Squares. I know they are going to their sitter and back to their routine for the rest of the week. I can get things done then!

Still I feel overwhelmed and anxious.... hope this doesn't last long!

On a fun note here is the pic that my sitter took of my family reunion..


MMMMMMMMWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAA

7 comments:

Di Hickman said...

yay she's baaaaaaaaaaack!
wonderful to see you back home chica!
mwuah!

Michelle said...

Rachel, you have to realize that you can't get it all done. So the house is a mess...big deal. The kids are clean and fed, that's important. Comforting Angie is important. Eating Rice Krispies is also important. If, by the end of the week, the house is really getting to you, call Jan, or Katie, have them take the kids for 2 or 3 hours, do a power clean, or better yet, call Molly Maid! LOL! But realize, it WILL get done, eventually, hell, you've only been home 4 days.
You got the right idea...take a deep breath and play with the kids...yep, sounds about right!
Side note...people don't realize that parenting IS a full time job! Like other jobs, you need a day off every once in a while. No need to feel guilty about taking the kids to the sitter!

Kataroo said...

yep on days like that the best thing to do is just slow right down and enjoy the kids, then you feel less anxious and everyone's happier. I bet this is a big adjustment for you all. hugs to you.

Lucy (aka scrapperqueen) said...

I am so excited you are back!!!

I hope all goes smoother for you and cant wait to see you at the boards

Anonymous said...

I hear you on the anxiety felt by your daughter. It will settle down in a little bit. It's such a great thing that you told yourself to take a deep breath. Things will all settle down eventually. Meanwhile, savor the present moment, hug and play with your girls and don't forget to take some time for yourself so that you don't feel too overwhelmed ! Hugs

Anonymous said...

I hear you on the anxiety felt by your daughter. It will settle down in a little bit. It's such a great thing that you told yourself to take a deep breath. Things will all settle down eventually. Meanwhile, savor the present moment, hug and play with your girls and don't forget to take some time for yourself so that you don't feel too overwhelmed ! Hugs

Danielle

Anonymous said...

I just love the pic of you guys Rach, such a beautiful family :)

Welcome home again!

Kare Bear