Sunday, November 15, 2009

Maybe I need a Good Cry!

It has been a rough while for me lately. Much I haven't shared with even my closest friends and family. I am not gonna air my laundry on my blog ... but things have to change .. THEY HAVE TO! I feel like I am spiraling in this deep abyss, and I can't find my way out. The silliest things are bothering me .. and I am walking around as of late with a broken heart and soul. I hide it ... I am very good at hiding it ... I try to smile and brush everything under the rug, or lessen the severity cuz I don't want to face it and/or burden anyone ... which is silly cuz my family and friends are there for me ... I just don't know how to ask for help! Maybe this is it ... the depression I have been expecting and just never allowed myself to cave to. Maybe I need to cave and just go thru it already so that I can find my way back! Maybe it's time to admit that I am not all that atrong right now ... and that's okay .. It is okay right?

I need to get off this rollercoaster of emotions .. it's making me sick .. literally! I feel like a bundle of nerves and I am looking into things that aren't there .. over analyzing! It's snowballed enough already!

Well .. here are the tears, and I am just gonna let them flow .. I need to let them flow .. to get them out .. so that I can lay my head down and have a good peaceful rest already .. so that |I can wake up and start fresh!

Sorry so heavy ... I just had to get it out!

8 comments:

Diva Loca said...

thanks for getting it out...

cry my dear, cry as much as you need...

and when you are ready, I/We are ready for you :)

Karen's Violetbliss said...

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. I have been through a similar rollercoaster over the past couple years so if you would like to talk when you are ready I would be willing to share my experiences. Keep well and know that we are all pulling for you.

Kataroo said...

Loving you so much right now :) Thank-you for sharing today.

Dorrie said...

asking for help is step number 1...done...
and crying is step number 2...also done...
step 3 comes when you are ready...and from what i can see here, you have many people who care about you and are ready to listen.
anytime, for anything...
hugs hugs and more hugs...
love ya
D xo

Stay Funny said...

Big hugs dear, hope after the past weekend your filling a little bit better!
Sending you good vibes for a good week.
Love ya
xx

Julie Ann Shahin said...

Writing it out is always one of the best steps. If you can't share on your blog, you are probably following your wise instincts, so I suggest getting a paper journal, and writing it on there. From my years and years of therapy, I learned you have to be your own best friend first. Write in your journal first which helps get it out of your head, then call friends for support. You need a support system, it is crucial for whatever you are going through, which was my biggest mistake, I did not have one during my darkest hour. Hugs!!! This too shall pass.
xoxo,
ja

Louise Dubord said...

The advice of Julie Ann is right on the spot. Think of yourself, let go, pamper yourself a bit.
You deserve the best friend ever... yourself.

Loulou
A new friend who is there for you too. Had a nice time with your Mom on Saturday, but we missed you!

Bethany Kartchner said...

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Big hugs to you and lots of love.